TheBabyCarriers

Archive for January 14th, 2010

The status quo for many adoptive families is to adopt children younger than the children currently in the family. How many times have you heard the advice, “Don’t disrupt the pecking order?” There are many who feel strongly about never changing the pecking order. It might have negative psychological consequences on the current children. Or, maybe you have heard that older children will negatively influence your current children. Some people are afraid that older children may harm their younger children. Should families only adopt younger children?

Our family has disrupted the pecking order numerous times with our seven adoptions. We always ask the current children how they feel about adopting the next child or children. Honestly, I never remember even one of our 10 children ever saying, “You can only adopt children younger than me.”
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I guess it also depends on how much status you give that position. We no longer live in Bible times when the eldest child inherited the lion’s share of the family wealth. Do most families place great importance on being the oldest? Typically, we allow older children more privileges, but that is based strictly on age and maturity. Many older children who are available for adoption are not developmentally the same age as their chronological age. Therefore, a child who is just a few years older, may be emotionally and developmentally much younger.

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